For a girl
who “blogs” about life on a daily basis in some form or another (though not
publicly), I have struggled to find my footing this whole year to write a commentary
about The Jerry Sandusky Scandal that has rocked Happy Valley, my home. (Notice
that I refer to the scandal as “The Jerry Sandusky” scandal because it is not,
as the world seems to believe, a Penn State Football Scandal.) With so many
thoughts and opinions to wrap my head around, words didn’t seem to come easy to
me and then today happened. Every thought that I have about my university will
be dispensed now.
I entered
Penn State University as a college freshman in the fall of 2008. I arrived on
campus with zero independence, a willingness to learn and excitement for the
journey ahead. As the first three years of my undergrad flew by, my happiness
grew seemingly on a daily basis because of the atmosphere in which I found
myself. With amazing philanthropies, world-renowned professors, fun sporting
events, interesting class loads and the greatest group of people I will ever
meet in my life, it was hard to ever leave State College for more than two
weeks at a time. My heart ached when I was away from this University and I
always anticipated my return to a town that had slowly turned into my one true
home.
Throughout the first three years of my undergrad experience, some of my most revered memories involved football coach Joe Paterno. My first night at Penn State, as I stood amongst my fellow classmates at Be A Part From The Start, I marveled over him. Joe Paterno had this amazing capability that most do not possess- he could enter a room of college students (thousands of them) and somehow turn the entire room quiet. In his unique voice, he would grumble at us about the importance of education and making a difference while using his hands to silence anyone who dared praise him in a lone “We love you, Joe!” chant. If anyone who is not a Penn Stater doubts this, I urge you to search the video of the night of Joe Pa’s 409th win. Not only did he silence a student body, but an entire football arena hung on his every word as he stood next to Sue beaming with his humble pride. Though both of these moments are cherished memories of Joe Paterno, the one that leaves the most lasting impact occurred in February of 2009 when Joe stopped by THON. Joe never told people when he was going to come to THON, he just showed up to ensure that the attention was only his for a few minutes. Joe Pa, standing right in front of me as I stood beside my sister alongside the stage, described the efforts of Penn State students perfectly: “I wish the whole world could see and feel what is in this room right now. I have never been more proud of Penn State than I am.” That was the kind of man Joe Paterno was: humble, quiet, intelligent and wanting the best for every student, faculty member and alumnus of this university. Penn State undergrads didn’t need to know him personally to recognize this; his actions confirmed it every day and in turn, he became like Penn State’s grandfather, imparting wisdom and preaching “success with honor.”
In November, however, three months in to my first senior year at Penn State, the protective bubble around Happy Valley was popped with the news of Jerry Sandusky’s horrid actions and the supposed cover up by well-known campus officials. One of the safest college towns in America remained safe in a criminal sense, but could not escape the omnipresence of the media, egging students on and causing the pain to hover like a thick blanket over the place we love. And that is when Penn Staters began defending our school to the ground and the defense continues.
Let me point out two things: first, Jerry Sandusky is despised in this community. Most of us didn’t even know he existed until the tragic events came to light. Yet, we as Penn Staters are now generalized as being “child rapists” and “people who support child molestation.” How that ignorance exists is something I will never comprehend. Secondly, just because we support Joe Paterno does not mean that we support his moral oversight by not reporting what he knew. Penn Staters support Joe Paterno because he made this school into what it is. He built numerous academic buildings, funded academic programs, supported students maintaining a close relationship with their religion on campus and taught us what success with honor truly means. He may not have practiced what he preached at all times, but he still preached it and in turn made this university what it is today.
As long as I live, I will never forget the feeling that existed when he was fired without remorse by a corrupt board; or how it felt to stand next to my friends and watch as the Penn State football bus, with Sue Pa in Joe’s seat, followed his hearse down Curtin Road on a cold January day. That day, thousands of Penn Staters came together and cried on one another, strangers became family, and the heart of Penn State seemed to be broken completely as we mourned what once was; that protective bubble I mentioned that had once been. Where happiness had existed in my heart where Penn State was concerned, I now saw emotional snapshots of my senior year and tried to block them out: Sitting in the G-Man and hearing ESPN announce that Joe would most likely be fired; riding on a bus home, tears streaming down my face, reading the grand jury presentment; watching the final football game of the year and knowing that half of that staff would be gone in due time; seeing the look in Sue Paterno’s eyes as she told the THON dancers at dancer meeting number one how proud Joe would have been of our efforts. The days of naivety were gone for me at school, and Penn State University was once again growing me up (though not necessarily in ways that I would have hoped for).
This entire Sandusky scandal and the anguish and heartache should focus around one thing: the victims of the child sexual abuse by Jerry Sandusky. Yet the media seems to have forgotten that this man is in jail for the crimes as they, along with the popular opinion, have thrown Penn State and its family under the bus more times than I can count. They say we don’t care about the victims, despite candlelight vigils, blue outs at games and raising an extensive amount of money for RAINN. They say we don’t care about kids when we devote most of our year to putting efforts towards THON. They say we support child abuse because we defend Paterno. In actuality we are struggling to see a man we loved as exactly that, a flawed man, and one who has been the media’s scapegoat (despite more guilt by men such as Graham Spanier, Tim Curley, Gary Schultz, the Board of Trustees and even our own governor, Tom Corbett.) The entire situation truly makes me sick to my stomach.
Today, however, the enormity and unfairness of the entire situation crashed down on me with the announcement of the NCAA sanctions. These men who committed these acts are not being held accountable, and isn’t that accountability what will aid these victims? Joe Paterno was the only man hung out to dry while men like Tim Curley, who appears to be the most guilty party in the cover-up (at least if any part of The Freeh Report is reliable), remain on paid administrative leave. Yet, the Penn State players, the students, who through all of this have been the TRUE embodiment of what it means to be a Penn Stater, are being punished on the administration’s behalf? These men were seven years old (at most) when Sandusky’s time at Penn State came to an end. You’re going to hurt their hard work and take away their scholarships? Hasn’t this football team been through enough? When will this end?
I saw those
men walking through my apartment complex in their letterman jackets in January,
right after Joe Paterno’s death was announced. They walked in silence in clusters,
some crying. Inflicting pain on innocent people is not the way to solve the
problem. Doesn’t the NCAA realize that they are only creating more victims in response
to The Jerry Sandusky scandal by handling it this way?
And, my response to the media who supports the decision is this: Back in November, when Joe Pa and Graham Spanier were fired before a lengthy investigation, a victim’s attorney released a statement saying that the victim and their family were disappointed in the decision by the BoT. The victim said that the attention was taken away from the crime and placed rather on the firing of two men which would be sure to bring national media coverage. To the news stations and to the NCAA, can’t you see that you have made the same mistake as the Board of Trustees? You want to draw attention to the victims, correct? But what have you done to raise awareness for child abuse in comparison to what the Penn State student body (and many members of the football program, both current and past) have done since the allegations first surfaced? You ought to be ashamed of yourself, but congratulations- you certainly received your fifteen minutes and the news stories that you so desperately search for to sensationalize.
My message to Penn Staters is this: We know who WE ARE. We know where we’ve been and what we’ve seen and how we need to move forward. We know that we will never allow this to happen again. We know that we will fight child sexual abuse with all that we have and that we will continue to fundraise for RAINN. We know that we will say prayers for the victims and try to forget the name of Jerry Sandusky, the man who was actually responsible for tarnishing the reputation of our school. We will not listen to or react to the ignorance of outsiders. We understand that they will never know what it is like to be a part of something bigger than themselves like Penn State’s family is. We will continue to maintain our academic excellence. We will remember Joe Paterno for the good that he did, and not just for a mistake or two which he admitted to making. Wewill stand by the Paterno family during their time of grief to remind them that even though Joe is gone, they are not alone. We will recognize the Paterno legacy on this campus every day. We will purchase football tickets and Penn State clothing to support our students athletes who do not deserve the punishment of our leaders. We will stand, arms around one another, during the Alma Mater and we will sing together with tears in our eyes. We will not riot. We will band together, we will rise about this and we will emerge as a stronger university because of this. We will re-create the protective bubble around Happy Valley and ensure that it remains a happy place for our future children (who we will force into coming here one day). We will never forget what we have learned. We will stay proud. We will show the world that they cannot break us. We will embrace the uncertainty of the future with our love of the past. And we will do all of this because WE ARE and always will be Penn State.
